I sit here with a swirl of thoughts and dreams late at night, my mind wide awake and throwing itself from the task at hand, yet still so much in the same spirit. I allow memories to flood through as I also look forward and dream and hope. After reflecting on only a few pieces of what last year encompasses, it only felt appropriate to take the same contemplative time to look ahead. I’ve always been good at dreaming. I can imagine and hope for what I want, and even going a step further, I like to think I have a realistic grasp on what it would take to make those hopes and dreams a reality. Understanding the plan necessary for the goal, so to speak. But sometimes the followthrough is lacking. And that’s okay. This year, however, I want to do better.
Last year brought me moments that felt both hopeful and hopeless, times when I was both optimistic and stuck. As I look to 2022, I don’t want those feelings of being stuck or being afraid of failing to keep me from trying. I’ve been inspired like never before, and then been immobilized by fears and doubts. And as I reflect, I regret not taking some of those chances then. I don’t want all my regrets to be not trying. The worst that can happen when I take a risk is it doesn’t work, and all I’m left with is the lesson learned. But what could be the best that could happen? What could happen if I spend the time actually acting on my dreams, rather than worrying and planning and hoping for the perfect moment to strike?
I want to learn. I want to sharpen my craft, to get better as I create. I have already started the process, but I am learning new skills across new mediums from video editing, graphic and website design, social media, and multiple platforms. I want to create. I want to create for myself and for the joy of it. That can be hard when I also want to share what I create. I don’t want it to just be about the hustle or the grind. I don’t want to rely on engagement or criticism for my value or worth I place on what I’m creating. I want to create what I believe to be worthwhile. I want to create to perhaps even inspire. When I stop feeling that, I’ll stop and do something else.
This is the year to make things happen, to take risks, to dare greatly. I want to create my own opportunities, I want to make the most of my time. I want to test and try and fail and then try again. This is the year I want to create my own financial independence, something I haven’t had in a very long time due to both personal and professional choices. I want to take back the health and capability of my body after allowing it to falter over the last year.
I want to take charge of myself. I want to take care of myself, my body, and my fuller sense of self. I don’t want to just get by, I want to honor this body and life I have been given, I want to make it a life well lived. This year I want to unapologetically choose myself, not just in the short term gratification sense, but choosing the path that brings me closer to being able to live the life I want for myself. I want to make those choices and not feel guilty when I do. I don’t want to make choices based on what other people tell me I should do, or even what I think other people want or expect for me. I want to choose what I want, I want to pursue what makes me feel alive. I want to make those choices even when they’re uncertain, and be confident enough in myself to see them through.
This year I want to choose what’s most important. This year I want to do better. This is the year I make things happen. Here’s to 2022.